Holy crapples! I just saw the full track listing for Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s. Fucking *awsome*. Especially for someone like me. Check this out:

1. Opening Licks

* "Holy Diver" - Dio
* "We Got the Beat" - The Go-Go's
* "No One Like You" - Scorpions
* "Because, It's Midnite" - Limozeen
* "Metal Health" - Quiet Riot (Encore)

2. Amp Warmers

* "Nothin' But a Good Time" - Poison
* "I Wanna Rock" - Twisted Sister
* "Turning Japanese" - The Vapors
* "Los Angeles" - X
* "Hold on Loosely" - 38 Special (Encore)

3. String Snappers

* "Lonely is the Night" - Billy Squier
* "Synchronicity II" - The Police
* "Heat of the Moment" - Asia
* "Shakin'" - Eddie Money
* "Bathroom Wall" - Faster Pussycat (Encore)

4. Return of the Shred

* "Round and Round" - Ratt
* "Electric Eye" - Judas Priest
* "Wrathchild" - Iron Maiden
* "I Ran (So Far Away)" - A Flock of Seagulls
* "What I Like About You" - The Romantics (Encore)

5. Relentless Riffs

* "Radar Love" - White Lion
* "Play With Me" - Extreme
* "The Warrior" - Scandal
* "Balls to the Wall" - Accept
* "Caught in a Mosh" - Anthrax (Encore)

6. Furious Fretwork

* "Seventeen" - Winger
* "Police Truck" - Dead Kennedys
* "18 and Life" - Skid Row
* "Only a Lad" - Oingo Boingo
* "Ballroom Blitz" - Krokus (Encore)

Extreme?! White Lion?! SkidRow?! Poison?! Ratt?! Priest?!?! Faster Pussycat?!?!?!?!?! Fucking r0ck on!!! A Hair Metal Queen's dream!!

I could *totally* do without the Winger (puke, gag, hurl up a lung), but not everyone's perfect :P.

I *love* Extreme, and FP is just icing on the cake. However, I shudder at trying to play 'Play With Me'. If you know that song, you know what I'm talking about. It'll be fun, but *harrrd*. And I thought I was the only one (besides Smooty) who loved Faster Pussycat...I guess not! I'm so excited! This is an 80s (esp 80s metal) lover's wet dream.

Thanks for making this game for me, RedOctane! You guys rule.

Even tho I started The Pill a week before I was supposed to start, I guess my body is still on track. This means a day of cramps. Oh yay! At least it's only a day tho.

It still doesn't mean I don't want to keel sideways and turn green :P

1. Are you one of those people who is constantly busy with projects, social outings, etc or do you just like to lay low and stay home? Why/why not?
I try (unsuccessfully sometimes) to have a good mix of things going on. I love to just sit home and chill, but I'd be bored and lonely if I didn't get out, so I do both.

2. Weather you're busy all the time or like to just chill, have you always been that way? How so/how not?
Up until Josh and I started living together, I've pretty much been a hermit my entire life. My parents were like that. And, it suited me just fine. Staying at home doing stuff away from people is cool with me. But since Josh and I got together, he's pulled me out of the house, and I am *way* more social than I used to be. Instead of going out once every couple of weeks, I'm out once every couple of days. And my days and weeks seem to fill up on their own now without me even trying. But, that's a good thing! I went from having no friends and no life to having lots of friends without a shortage of things to do.

3. Is there something you'd like to change about how you spend your time? If so, what is it? If not, why not? How are things manageable for you?
Nope, it's pretty good these days. I work during the day and then at night I have a good balance of staying at home and going out. It's only during those weeks where I have something going on every single night that I wish things would slow down a little. But, I keep pretty good tabs on it, and it doesn't happen often enough for me to do something about it.

So, the recovery from the weekend hasn't been too bad. I took it relatively easy on myself, really.

After work, I went to see my needle guy, and I was going to go home and veg all night, but got a summons to sit in hot water, so I opted for that instead. I'm always grateful for those summons! Since it's summer, the sun doesn't set til 9 or 9:30, and we don't generally get into the tub til it's dark. Then suddenly it's an hour, hour and a half later and you're like, "Damn, I need to go home and go to bed!". So, I left around 11p and got home about 15 mins later, ate a veggie corndog, and was asleep by 11:30p. I still got 8 hours of sleep, so that's good! I'll probly shoot for a much earlier bedtime tonight, tho. I'm still pretty tired from the weekend.

I don't have plans tonight or tomorrow, which is nice. I plan on doing a lot of nothing besides maybe cleaning my bathroom, which really needs a good scrub all the way around. Thursday, Josh and I are venturing into the city to see Bob Saget perform. Friday, Josh is leaving for Vegas for Jon's wedding and will be gone until Sunday sometime. I discovered last night that my frozen food is almost gone, so I'll have to take a trip to TJ's this weekend. In fact, maybe I'll do that Friday night. Saturday, I'm supposed to help Schreck with the MC4 board at an artish showing. After that is the PJJ party, but I'm still not wild about going for some reason. It kinda bothers me that I can't pinpoint *why* I don't want to go to that party. So, I'll probly help Schreck out in the afternoon/early evening, and then go home and chill out during the evening. I may end up getting the bug to go to the party, but I doubt it. We'll see.

Anyway, I need to go decode a project and get going on it.

I had a very nice weekend. Josh picked me up from work in Walnut Creek and we made our way up north at 1p on Friday. The only traffic we ran into was at Placerville because there's one stoplight in like 5 miles and there are too many cars. We arrived at the camp site around 4:30p and started setting up camp. Hickory and Taylor had found this place by this 'beach' (a flat rock area next to the water with pools and a little more running water than other places on the creek) area and that's where we camped. Since our particular camp was comprised of a few Camp Stupid and a few TEC people, we ended up calling ourselves Camp Extra Stupid :P. It was nice. Hot in the sun, cool in the shade, and you could hear the water burbling while you were sleeping. We all spent Friday night unpacking, getting acclimated, chilling out, etc. There were a few movies, and there wasn't supposed to be any music, but someone was playing really fucking obnoxious music way too loud in the middle of the night that ended up getting us all into potential trouble on Saturday.

Our camp all started waking up around 10a on Saturday. We got up and had coffee and made breakfast. Then word started going around that a Ranger had stopped by the camp because there were complaints about us being too loud. Too loud and not everyone had arrived yet? Uh oh. No one pointed any fingers because we're not that kind of people, but I'd like to smack whoever was playing that music way too loud on Friday night. Anyway, as part of her spiel, the Ranger decided to give us a hard time, saying there were too many people at the site, the parking was insufficient, and a small laundry list of other things. I think she was just new, because no one usually gives us a hard time at this location. But, she said she wanted the things on her list changed, and she'd be back. I spent the afternoon at the swimming pools, hanging out with people, and eating yummy earth brownies. After that, I went back to camp and Schreck made BLT's for everyone. I heart that man's love for bacon :P. I guess somewhere in there, the Ranger came back and checked up on us and warned us that the sheriff and his crew would be by to 'check up' on us in the early evening. Oh great. I had a gate shift from 3-5 (and met some cool people in the process), and then chilled back at camp for awhile.

Around 6ish Steph, Whit, and I decided to go walk down to the meadow/swimming holes and check things out. On our way back, we were greeted with green sheriff shirts and *dogs*. Uh oh. We walked up the hill to find some of the people in charge talking with another lady Ranger who was telling us we were going to have to leave, blahblahblah. I started to feel really uncomfortable, so Steph & Whit took me back to camp. I hid in M's tent for the better part of an hour until the authorities left. They were walking thru some of the camps, and if they were going to walk thru mine, I did *not* want to have to deal with it. They finally left, and things were fine. I guess they made someone take a piece of the sound equipment down (and either they took it for the evening, or the person just put it in their car...I never got the real story about that) so we theoretically couldn't use the sound system anymore, but aside from a $175 ticket, they weren't going to do anything else. And thankfully, they didn't come back after that :P

Around 9p, things started to gear up in partyland. By 10p, I was in la-la land, not feeling much pain! We listened to Hickory's set, which was awsome as usual! Redstickman and Matt & George had good sets also, but aside from that, I wasn't impressed. Then the bad music came :P. Aside from the fucking obnoxious music (hard core techno is not one of more favorite types of music), things were pretty damn good. And the music? It was *really* damn loud :P. It was fsking cold this year at night, so we ended up retreating to the 'chill tent', where I stayed until 6 or 7a yesterday. I ended up cuddling all night with this cute baby-faced boy who works at Google. And no, I did not get myself into trouble :P. It was just straight cuddling! And boy did I need a night of that. I hadn't been that relaxed in body and brain in a while. After dozing, then waking up and talking, then dozing again, somehow it started to be morning. It was so damn cold tho, that I waited as long as possible to tear myself away from a warm human so I could go back to my tent. I think it was between 6 and 7a (maybe later) by the time I left the chill tent, but there are no clocks around, so who knows. I dozed (but not really slept) for a couple of hours until the camp woke up around 10a. There was coffee, bacon, and other breakfast goodies to be had. Then we packed up, loaded up, and took off for home around 1:30p.

We pulled into the garage at 4:30p. Josh was nice enough to unload the car while I made some food (I hadn't eaten all day). Then we put stuff away, took showers, and went to Cato's for some pizza (they have really good made-to-order slices) and beer. After that, we came home and vegged out on the couch for a bit, and then were asleep by 9:30p.

I had a really nice and relaxing weekend, and feel I can deal with real life again...for a little while! I need to do laundry, but I've decided that beyond running Domo when I get home, I'm not doing anything tonight. I'll probly go to bed early again also. I'll deal with laundry....later :P.

1. How many times a month/year do you see the sunrise?
I don't, usually. I did yesterday because I was up all night. I don't get that "oh my goodness, I got to see the sun rise!" feeling...I'm not much of a fan of sun in the mornings.

2. How many times a week/month do you see the sunset?
I catch it whenever I can. I do enjoy watching the sun go down. It must stem from my love of the dark.

3. Do you go out at night and "gaze" at the stars?
Sometimes. Especially at campouts.

4. Do you ever look for star clusters, such as the big dipper, etc?
Yup. I actually paid attention in astronomy in highschool.

5. Do you look for planets at night (with or without a telescope)?
Yup, sometimes. It's neato, especially with a telescope.

6. Are you able to see the northern lights where you live? If so, about how often do they come around?
Nope. I've seen really cool pictures of it on 'Planet Earth'. If it weren't so damn cold up north, I wouldn't mind seeing them sometime.

7. Do you like going outside during a thunderstorm and watching the lightening?
Yeah, but being indoors is safer and cooler. We don't get thunder and lightening storms on Planet Bay Area. I've lived in CA for 7 years and haven't seen a storm yet. Saw heat lightening once tho. That was cool. No one here knew what it was.

8. Do you have any really neat weather pictures?
I have a few rainbow pictures, but not much else. We don't really get weather here. It's either sunny, foggy, or during the rainy season, raining.

So, as I have gotten older, I've got this 'voice' that occasionally tells me to do or not do something. The first time I really heard it and ignored it, my car broke down at the Caldecott Tunnel. The second time I heard it and ignored it, my car got stolen. The third time I heard it, I tried hard to ignore it when my car basically turned around and took me home. I'm not sure what would have happened had I actually made it to work, but I probly don't want to know either.

I needed to have the front tires replaced on my car. You can see the wear bars, and this is the 'warning' sign. I drive 30 miles everyday. I just went to Santa Rosa and back. And now, I'm going up into the mountains to go camping....on dirt roads....that aren't well-maintained. And I kept telling myself that I'd get new tires when I got back. And then 'the voice' started in. "Get new tires now before you go"...'I really don't want to take the time, tho'..."take the time"...'yeah, but they should be okay for another trip'...."yes, but if they aren't and you get stranded on a dirt road 20 miles from any main roads, you are going to be totally fuct. Go get them replaced before you go on your trip"...'but....well, okay, fine!'. So that's what I did this morning. I called the tire place right at 8 just as I was coming out of the Tunnel and they said I could be in and out by 9. And I was! And I got gas too! So, I feel better about that now.

Last night, I came home and took a quick shower, and then got to work preparing to go camping. For my main meals, I bought an already-prepared salad, some california crab salad, and made a chicken breast and cut it up and threw it with some shell pasta and pesto. For breakfast, I'll do yogurt with granola. I also threw together some cut up strawberries and blueberries to snack on. My munchie food constists of artichoke dip, crackers, almonds, and protien bars. Josh went and got water last night, so we have plenty of that also. After I got done with the food, I dug out my sleeping bag, comforter that I always bring with me, and grabbed The Magic Blanket. I also packed my clothes, and most of the toiletries that I'll need. I'll pack the rest tomorrow morning after my shower. Josh got me a camping chair of my own on his Target run last night, so yay for that! So, all of that is done! I was asleep by 10:15p.

We're packing the cooler with ice bricks this time around instead of ice, so there won't be any melty mess. Josh is in charge of the cooler. I think we're getting up early tomorrow, he's packing the cooler, I'm packing the rest of my stuff, and then he's taking me to BART. I'll take the train to work, he'll take my car to work, and then swing by and pick me up around 1p and we'll make our way north from Walnut Creek. We should be there by 5 at the latest. And then there will be relaxing. Much relaxing. Friday is usually movie night, and then Saturday the music starts up. Saturday night will involve much partying. Sunday will be rough probly :P We'll eat breakfast, tear down camp, and head out probly by 12 or 1p and get back into towne around 4 or 5 depending on traffic.

It's been 4 days now since I started on my birth control, and I'm already feeling more balanced. I know things haven't had time to start working all the way (and they could certainly go south too), but I really do feel a bit better. Even with PMS, I'm a lot more calm. There have been less arguments in our house, and work seems to be more managable. So, let's screw things up by partying all weekend, shall we? :P Eh, it'll be fine :)

Since I'm all mostly packed, I get to relax tonight! Maybe I'll catch up on all the TV I've ignored over the past week.

Unless you are going to the same place I am this weekend, I will be out of touch. I'll be unreachable from 4p tomorrow until at least 2p on Sunday. Cell phones do not work up there, and there is no electricity or running water. If you really need something, leave a msg and I'll call you back when I get reception again.

1. Do you ever just 'need a break' from it all? How does it manifest itself?
Sometimes! Like, right now, as a matter of fact! It's been a busy and highly stressful 6 months. And while it hasn't been *all* bad, I'm quite ready for a break. I usually start taking out my agressions onto people, and that's how it starts to manifest itself. Usually, I don't notice it until it's too late. But when I finally do, something usually happens to where things become managable again.

2. When is the last time you got a break? Do you try and take them every so often to avoid burnout, or do you wait until your head is ready to implode? Why?
I think the last time things *weren't* stressful was probly Chillits 2006. And that was the last time I had a real break. The summer is usually good for breaks, but it's the other 9 months where I try and just put up with it until summer rolls around again. My head imploded recently. And then melted. It was messy.

3. When you do decide to take that break, what do you do to enjoy yourself and relax?
I have started enjoying the campouts I get to go to. Preparing for them is stressful to me because I don't want to forget anything, so I only go to 2 or 3 during the year. But they are *so* fun and relaxing. I can be stupid, chill, and most importantly relax! And when it isn't campout season, sometimes I need a mental break and I'll take a vacation day and stay home and do nothing. But it's much more fun to go out in the middle of nowhere and chill. I am not Burning Man material, so the 2-day campouts are more my style and make me feel more in control.

Meh, I'm tired today. I want to go back home and sleep the day away. Unfortunatly, work is busy and I'm going out of towne Friday, so no lazy days for me.

Yesterday was Steph's birthday, so we went to Sushiya to party with her and a bunch of other people. The reservation was for 8, but I can't wait that late to eat, so Josh and I got there at 7 and ate ahead of time. So, while people were eating sushi, we were drinking sake! A good time was had by all.

Today (aside from the working part), I need to take a quick trip to Trader Joe's to get food for rEvolution this weekend. Tonight, I'll start packing and preparing food. We'll finish packing and load up most of the car tomorrow. Friday, I'm working until 1, and then Josh is picking me up at work and we'll go straight up from there. We figure if we leave at 1, we'll mostly avoid the mess that is Sacramento traffic on a Friday. We'll see. We'll probly have to battle some, but it may not be so bad.

*yawn*

I think I'll shoot for going to bed early tonight.

I spent the rest of Saturday being not sober. It was good! I took a shower around 5p and then Josh and I went over to A's house where we drank good Scottish beer out of a keg, ate steak, and shot the shit most of the night. We got home around 10:30p and went to bed.

We got up at 9a yesterday and had coffee and left at 10a for Santa Rosa. We got to Santa Rosa, got gas, and made a quick stop to Wendy's all by 11:15a and we were *still* early for our appointments! So, we went and had a beer at Russian River. Then Josh got his hair cut (to the middle of his shoulder blades, which is a lot for him!) and then I got my cut & color. It's reeeeeeeeed. Flamin red! I like it tho. I joined Josh back at the bar around 2p. We had drinks and food, then made a quick stop at the feed store to get the kids some new toys and were back on the freeway by 3:30p.

We made a stop for a few hours at Josh's parents house to celebrate his dad's birthday and Father's Day (and yes, I called my daddy!) and then we came home. Whit called to see if we wanted to get some food, but Josh wanted to stay home. I guess they had just gotten back from camping and Steph was tired too, so Whit and I met up at Raj and had yummy Indian food for dinner. After that, I made my way over to M's house to soak in warm water for a bit before becoming hot and tired. I came home around 11:30p and passed out until my alarm woke me this morning.

My temp showed up (early even!) to my office this morning and I dumped all the projects on her that I don't have time to do, so she's gotten going on things. I have had to give her very little direction, which is awsome. Now I have time to do my *real* job *full time*! Fucking yay!

This week will consist of getting ready to go to rEvolution. I think laundry needs to be done, we need to go food shopping, and on Thursday, load up the car. I think Josh is going to drop me off at BART and I'll take the train in, and then he'll pick me up in Walnut Creek at 1p and we'll go up from there. That should put us at CC around 5ish, which will give us plenty of time to set up camp, get some food, and chill. I'm *so* looking forward to this trip!

Anyway, that's about it for me. Time to get cracking on projects here at the j-o-b.

1. In your opinion, what is the perfect summer daytime temperature?
I like it between 70 and 75 year-round. I've become spoiled like that.

2. What is the perfect nighttime temperature?
Between 40 and 50 is good at night. A light breeze with it helps also.

3. Do you plant many flowers around your yard?
When I had a yard, yes. Now I have plants inside and out, but that's about it.

4. How much lawn do you have to mow? Do you enjoy mowing lawn?
I have no lawn. I live in an apartment building in Oakland.

5. Of the summer months, which is your favorite?
I don't have a favorite month.

6. Do you take a long vacation each summer?
No, but the past couple of years I've been going to campouts during the summer. Those are usually Friday-Sunday adventures. They do a soul and mind good!

7. Is summer your favorite season? If so, why? If not, why not?
I don't have a favorite season.

Good *grief* do I feel about 100% better than I did yesterday! Last night did me *wonders*. I left work about 4:45 and battled traffic, started Domo, and took my afternoon sitz bath. After that, I shot the shit with Josh about my day for awhile, played a little GH, and then Josh went to have Indian food with Hickory, Taylor, and Edwin while I went and did my thing. I had 'my conversation' with the friend of mine, and it went very well. I'm not sure why I dread having conversations with this person, as they always go smoothly because we're wired similarly, but *I* feel better about things now. I figure, with as stressful as things have been lately (and most of them being out of my control), I need things in general to go smoothly as possible, and being communitive as possible is one of the ways to accomplish that.

Anyway, afterwards, was the Ghostbustering! M and I made our way out to the old naval base in Alameda (where they keep the nuclear wessels!) where some MIT kids work. They have offices in the old control tower. We got to go *up* in the control tower and then up on the roof. It was totally cool! It was chilly and breezy and the fog was rather thick so we weren't able to see much, but it was awsome. I'd love to go back sometime when it's clear out. The movie was awsome as usual! There was no muttering of lines, but there was much laughter. It's funny to watch different types of people react to things like movies. Different groups react to different things. For example, these are highly smart kids, and they laughed at things I never really thought funny before. And then it's like, "Oh yeah..heh...I can see the humor in that!". The one that stands out is "Print is dead". I love hanging out with people who are 10 times smarter than me. Sure, it makes me quiet because I don't want to sound dumb to them, but they are *so* fascinating! I thought I was going home after that, but there was a detour for hottubbing....yaaaaay! So, I drank scotch and sat in warm water for awhile and relaxed for the first time in over a week. It was yummy. I got home around 1:30a, made some food, played a little more GH (yes, I know I'm a geek, thx), and went to bed.

I woke up around 10:45a, spent a little time lounging with Josh before we went off to a memorial service for a friend of his, made some coffee, and here I am. I have the whole afternoon to myself! I dunno what I'm going to do. Probly a whole lot of nothing. I'm thinking being stupid and not expending any energy (self, this means no cleaning!) until I think about maybe taking a shower. Maybe :P. Josh will be home sometime before 6, and then he's going to A's house for drinks. I've been invited, but I've made the decision to not make any decision to go until it's *time* to go. If I want to, I will! If not, then more non-expending of energy!

Oh! I almost forgot...my doctor (who I am now on 'talking like friends' terms now because we've talked so much on the phone lately) called and we had a conversation about what the other doctors said, the treatment, etc. And we had the conversation about my overly-raging hormones. Because frankly, being a bitch 3 out of 5 weeks sucks for me and everyone else. I'm also loosing handfuls of hair (mostly related to all of the stress I'm under), which sucks. We talked about my symptoms and how it's affecting other issues and came to the conclusion that maybe it was time to try a low-dose birth control pill. Granted, I have no such use for the 'birth' part, but he's thinking that maybe the small dose of hormones will help balance things out. It's been 6 years since I've been on BC and in that time, therapies and does have changed dramatically. And since I don't have any good ideas, we'll try his way for a few months. He was like, "Yeah, try this for a couple of periods...make sure it doesn't make you psycho or anything"....oh thanks :P. Like I need to be any *more* psycho these days! :P. So, I'll pick those up and start on them on Monday. I should probly also have a talk with my mom (the psycho health nut queen these days) to see if there's anything else natural I can do. She usually has some supplement answer to whatever ails ya.

Things are good and a whole hell of a lot more stable than they were yesterday. I'm greatful for the time off!

So, basically since January, I've been doing 2 full time jobs. One as an admin and one as an analyst. It's hard to divide up my time because while fun, both jobs are demanding. So, I hired an admin in March, and they didn't work out. I hired another one in May, and they didn't work out either, so I'm on the hunt again for an admin. This time, however, I am asking my HR dept to do all of the work for me. Hey, they're better at it than I am! But each time I go thru an admin, it's at least 3 weeks to find someone, get all the processes going, and get them to start. Then you give them 2-3 weeks to settle, or however long they're around and if they don't work out, then you have to start all over again. And neither of the two people we hired before were ever able to do the job long enough or be around long enough to be self-sufficient enough for me to be able to concentrate on my real job, which I only 1/4 know how to do, because I'm still learning how to do it. I was always doing something related to the old job. And after 6 months of this, I can't do it anymore. I'm out of brain power. I'm out of emotional power. I'm just out. I am one of those people who has to do everything for themselves all the time and who cannot/will not ask for help. And now that personality flaw has finally taken it's toll.

It has turned me into this monster who hates life because I am so stressed out about getting everything done, and *that* is not acceptable. I haven't been able to enjoy almost *anything* the past month or so. It's affecting my friendships and most importantly, it's affecting my personal relationships. And poor Josh has been tollerating it the best that he can, but he's getting to his wit's end with it. And it took a stupid-assed argument over Rock Band this morning to send me over the edge and do something about my stress.

I am one of those people who cries when the stress becomes too much. It's my release. It's not that I'm being a pussy, it's that hitting objects when you're that upset tends to break bones and said objects, so I cry instead. After shedding a few tears, I walked into my boss's office, sat down, and said, "I can't do 2 jobs by myself anymore. Help.". I think she was just waiting for me to break. She didn't even think twice about saying, "Then hire a temp!!". So, that's just what I did, and they start on Monday. I called the temp agency and let them know what my worries were and why. So, hopefully the person that comes in on Monday is going to work out nicely until we can get someone permanent in here.

And now...well now comes the hard part of chilling out and knowing that things will work out. Impatience is another personality flaw of mine. And it's not like I'm not taking steps to fix these problems, they just need time to come to fruition.

I think I'll have a nice time tonight at the Ghostbusters thing, and then tomorrow, I think I'll just take it as a mostly 'me' day. We're going to A's house tomorrow evening to drink beer, but other than that, nothing major. Sunday is Santa Rosa day, but that'll be okay too. My only real hurdle left in the week is to call a friend of mine on their shit, which I don't want to do, but it needs to be done and things like this is what part of our job descriptions as a friend is. So, at least it's almost over.

I'm tired. I *need* rEvolution next week. I think it will do me a lot of good.

Yes yes, I'm excited that it's Friday! Fucking *finally*! Last night, we went and had dinner at T-Rex's with Debbie, Jon, and some cool guy named Jim. I had half a rack of baby back ribs. They were *yummy*. I also had a couple of these drinks called Jack & Diane, which was vodka, cherry brandy, and coke mixed together. Sounds a little wierd and a lot redneckish, but it was pretty good for a sweet drink. And since this place specializes in Southern food & drink, it makes sense. What, the tea doesn't have 2 cups of sugar in it?!?! Blasphemy! Sweet tea is definatly not for the faint of sugar.

We got home around 9:30, putzed around for a bit, and we were in bed by about 10:15. I slept well (and pretty hard), but kept having these strange dreams. I the last ones that I remember were of my boss yelling at me because I had overslept. And for whatever reason, I was sleeping at her house. And then when I finally did get up, her boys kept distracting me from leaving the house, making her push me even more. The only thing I couldn't help wondering was why *she* was still at the house at 11am :P. But I think the dream stems from the fact that I'm really busy here at work and a big reason is because I haven't been able to really work in 3 weeks because of stuff that was going on here. Now that I have all that time to work again, I can start getting things done!

On the health tip, I think it's time to have one more conversation with my doctor. I believe my problems are 3-fold. The first is the tear. Okay, well, that'll heal with time now. The 2nd is the diaper rash (which is a symptom of the tear). As long as I keep on the Aquaphor, it's managable. The 3rd I believe is my hormones. Since I've started taking notes on what my body does when, I think my hormones may be out of wack and it might be time to break down and get back on the pill or something to even things out. I'm fine for 2 weeks out of the month, but when the hormones start kicking in my pH goes off-balance and I become a horrible bitch. For 2.5 weeks. And not only is it making me misreable, but it's making Josh misreable. And my friends are not wanting to hang around me because I'm making *them* misreable. Soooo, I think it's maybe time to start addressing that issue, as much as I don't want to. I don't want to because I don't want to throw drugs at the problem, but going the natural route doesn't seem to be doing me much good right now. Dammit, why can't our bodies just stay the same all the time? :P

On the music tip, with the help of my friend Jeremy, I have discovered a band called The Dark Romantics. I believe they're from Florida. I really like them. Their sound reminds me of a very young Better Than Ezra. And I'm a sucker for that southern sound.

Anyway, I have a metric crap ton of work to do today. But I get to go see Ghostbusters tonight! yay!

If I may just be so blunt (And well, I can since this is my website and I pay for it): it's been a really fucking shitty week, and I'm glad it's almost over. My stupid hormones kicked in, making my 'tear' act up, and work has been not fun at all this week. I heart my job, but sometimes hard weeks just happen. To make a very long story short, I lost my admin, so it's 'take 2 steps back and return to the drawing board' time. But this time, I have some great help, so it shouldn't be too painful. But the whole thing has put me in a generally foul mood. And who am I taking it out on? Yup, poor Josh. He doesn't deserve the shitty treatment, and I feel like crap for doing it to him. But, things are looking up. Now I just need to adjust my attitude. Easier said than done, but I will try my best.

Last night was The Police show at Oakland Coliseum. We had center-stage, 2nd level seats. They were pretty good! 1/3 of the crowd were baby boomers, 1/3 were just 'normal people', and the other 1/3 were your typical 30 and 40 something yuppiefied people. You know these people: the guys are wearing polos and buttoned shirts with kaki's and the chicks are in halter tops (in 50 degree weather), pants, and 3 inch heals....at a sports stadium with concrete floors, steep ramps, and steps. The video set-up was cool, and they did it so you could see each guy in the band, but whoever did the graphics (fractals) needs to go back to art school or hire an Expressions kid to do it. I think my cat could have created better visuals :P. Whoever mic'd the band and whoever mixed the music did an *awsome* job. The sound was warm and clear, and you could hear every instrument individually. As for the performance...well, it was good, but it was *totally* old-ified. Slowed down versions of almost all of the songs, some 'pep' was missing, and for the price of the tickets, the general 'feel' of the show could have been a little more up. I understand these guys are getting up in age and stuff, but we want the energized version of songs, not some elevator-music-ified live version of 'Wrapped Around Your Finger'. However, for all of my nit-pickiness, it *was* a good show. I certainly would never pay that much to see a show myself, but it was a nice once-in-a-lifetime thing. Afterwards, getting out of the place was quite a chore. Whoever designed the Coliseum BART station is a fucking moron. It is *not* condusive to the number of people that a place like the Coliseum holds. It took probly an hour to wait until the line for the train was short enough to get on it. However, they had trains stacked up behind each other, so it could have been much worse! We got home around 12:30a, had some food, and went to bed.

Even tho I know most of my stress is behind me, I just can't seem to shake my crappy mood and I dunno what to do about it. Force myself to get over it, I guess. I'm tired. Tiiiiired. And having plans every single day after work this week hasn't given me any time just to chill out. Tonight, we're going to dinner with some folks at T-Rex, and tomorrow, I get to go watch Ghostbusters with a bunch of geeks. *That* should be fun. I think I'll be able to rest Saturday tho. I'm thinking about staying in my pj's all day. Sunday, Josh and I are going to Santa Rosa to get our hair done, and then we're going to his parents for Father's Day.

Anyway, thanks for watching me bitch about my week. It really can only go up from here! :)

1. Are you, or have you ever been in a managerial type position? Do you/did you like it? What about it did you like or not like? If not, would you ever *want* to be in that type of position? Why/why not?
I was kinda put in one without realizing it until later. I don't really care for it, but it's a very tiny part of my duties. I don't like having The Power. It's just not who I am. But, I figure if the boss didn't think I could handle it, I wouldn't have been given the responsibility. It's just taking some getting used to, that's all.

2. If you've ever been in a managerial position, have you ever had to fire someone? What was that like? If not, have you ever been fired? What was that like?
I've had to fire 2 people in my life. One was easy because they just decided not to show up anymore. The second was tougher and was no fun. But that's just business, I guess. I have been fired one time in my life. I made a really stupid error, and I paid for it with my job. It sucked. It was pretty awful. But, I was young and dumb and I certainly learned my lesson.

3. At the end of the day, we're all employees, but would you rather be the Boss or the Employee? Why?
I'm more of a behind the scenes type of person. I don't like to be noticed, and I just want to be left alone to do my work. With responsibility comes a certain level of (for lack of a better term) 'crap' that I'm not too fond of. Maybe it's just because I need more experience in doing it, but I like being the employee who gets her work done and has to deal with minimal interference. "It's good to be a Beta!" :P

As of right now until tomorrow morning, consider myself un-reachable. If you call me, there's a 99% chance I won't answer the phone.

I've had it with *everybody* in my life right now (for the most part) and I don't feel like talking or dealing with anyone. I am going to wait out the next hour and 15 mins, drive home, smoke, have a drink or two, and then go see The Police. And I will enjoy th show Missy-style if it fucking kills me...or lands me in jail because some asshole bothered me.

Today, I'm sick of *everyone's* shit. It's best just to leave me alone.

I'll be better tomorrow.

It's work-related so I cannot talk about it here, but I have been overly-stressed for days now. And today, I said, "fuck it!" and got comfort food:

1.A shaved ham & turkey sammich on white bread with lettuce, tomatoe, sprouts, cheddar cheese, and light mayo & mustard.
2. Cheddar & beer potatoe chips.
3. Dr.Pepper

Yummy.

Saturday evening was alright. I was having an 'on' day with Guitar Hero and 5-starred a few songs I hadn't managed to be able to get correct in the past. That was awsome. After that, sushi was had for dinner, and then Schreck, Quincy, and myself all went to play pinball for awhile. After a quick stop at the party upstairs (which included party kids and a freaky kitty) and a long soak in the hottub, I got home around 1:30a. I was hungry, so I fixed some ramen and went to bed about an hour later. Josh got home from his bachelor party about 15-20 mins before I went to bed. He was sauced, but I guess it went fairly well!

We woke up yesterday morning around 10:30am, had coffee, and were showered and out the door by 11:30. We took BART to the city, went and saw Mr.Higgins the bar kitty real quick, and met Josh's parents at the ballpark at 12:45p. It was a Giants/A's game, and there were not a shortage of Oaklander's in the crowd! Cheveron was nice enough to provide us club seats way up front. It was nice! The Giants lost (again), but it was fun anyway!

We got home around 5:30 or so, did a few chores, and Norm stopped by for a few mins. And just like almost all of our other visitors, the first thing he said when he walked in the door was, "Oh my goodness, this place is huge!". I'm glad that the general consensus is that people like the house! Aside from my screaming 2yo neighbor kid (who I can generally ignore), it's working out well so far.

I drank too much in general yesterday, and for some reason lately when I drink a lot, it's been putting me in kind of a foul mood. So, I spent the late afternoon and evening kind of in a crappy mood in general, but today's a new day. And, I think I'll lay off the sauce for awhile. I don't like what more than one or two drinks does to me these days.

I think I'll lay low tonight, but tomorrow, it's probly laundry night. Wednesday we're going to see The Police, and Friday, I get to see an evening showing of Ghostbusters with a bunch of geeks! That should be a lot of fun. I don't think I have any plans Saturday so far, and on Sunday, Josh and I are going to Santa Rosa (ug) to get our hairs cut. To this day, I still hate going to that place, but that's where my hair lady is, so I have to grin and bear it. Oh well, at least I know I'm not trapped there anymore!

My health is still getting better, tho today I had a small rash relapse, which sux. I think my hormones are kicking in, and I'll have one more round of being generally uncomfortable for this round, but the next should theoretically be better! Oh well, whatcha gonna do? Getting old sux :P

1. Do you listen to the radio, or a CD, when you're driving in your car?
I listen to my iPo.

2. Do you have one of those GPS systems in your vehicle?
No. Google Maps works just fine.

3. About how many miles do you put on your vehicle in a month?
Between work and play, probly around 700 miles a month.

4. Do you have your oil changed regularly?
Yup, and especially because of the make of my car, it's important to be on top of it. I burn thru oil like water. It needs a quart every 2 or 3 fill-ups.

5. Do you take your vehicle to a car wash or do you wash it at home?
I take it to a car wash. I live in an apartment. No room to wash cars in a dense urban environment.

6. How often do you have the inside of your vehicle cleaned? Do you do it yourself or do you pay someone to do it?
It depends on my motivation level. Usually every 2-3 months. I take my car to this place that vacuums/washes/dusts everything for you. It's like $15, but it's worth it. What they can do in 20 minutes would take me much longer than that if I were to do it myself.

7. What is the color of your vehicle?
It's gold.

It's been 2-3 days since I was diagnosed from two different doctors about what has been bothering me. I've started my ubber fiber regiment (proving my digestive tract works well :P), stopped drinking 2/3 of the water that I was drinking, and started using this Aquaphor stuph, and I *already* feel 80% better.

I woke up yesterday morning feeling better and made it thru most of the day without too much discomfort. I woke up feeling even better this morning. I even had my weekend cup of half-caff! Yuuuummy. Man, I missed the flavor of coffee. I've had a lot more energy the past couple of days also, which is nice. This morning, I got up around 10:30a, had some coffee, and started reading the copy of Massively Mutliplayer Games For Dummies that Josh got me. Even tho I *play* MMGs, I haven't been playing long, so this book is supposed to give me some good background/insight. Got to bring my inner geek out, see! After that, I played some Guitar Hero, ate breakfast, and then took a shower and shaved. Yes, shaving's a big deal for me. It takes time to do because my legs are so damn long! :P I've got a couple of hours before I need to leave for this evening's festivities, but I dunno what I'm going to do. I'm sure I'll find *something*.

Tonight, I'm going to dinner with some folks and then we're going to the pinball museum in Alameda to see this pinball machine that someone custom built. And it just so happens that we have some friends who live upstairs from the pinball place, and they're throwing a party! So, pinball and music...what can go wrong? :P. After that, there will be (pretty much demanded at this point!) hottubbin, which I will be *most* greatful for. Now that I'm no longer stressed out to the max, it's time to give my poor muscles a break.

I've got something fairly big going on at work (which I won't get into here), and that will cause me some stress for a little while, but it's a good learning experience and I'm sure I'll be much wiser at the end. And work stress is *nothing* like health stress. And if I managed to squeak by (barely) with the health stress, the work stress will be peanuts! :P

I'm glad it's the weekend tho. It was a long, stressful, but semi-productive week.

So, I went to the dermatologist today. Yesterday's discovery wasn't something I could have prevented, but today's was. Apparently, point blank, I am far too clean. I drink so much water that I use the bathroom at least once or twice an hour. Since I'm a girl, this involves wiping. Repetitive wiping begets raw skin. Also because I am so clean, when I shower, I scrub and be sure to use enough soap to get everything clean. I use baby wipes for my backside also. All of this has amounted to 'baby rash'. A fairly yucky case of it, which again with hormones, gets worse.

So basically, my everything is out of wack and my body is finally tired of it. And one of the main culprits: too much water. So, my sense of order has been completely obliterated today :P.

So, it's up to *me* to change my behavior here. *One* Nalgene bottle of water during the day at work. Then, whatever I drink at home at night should suffice. That should fix multiple things at once.

Obviously, I have a tendency to do things *too* well sometimes. When did I turn into OCD Girl? Time to stop that shit!

Yes, I am a big fucking dork. A *really* big fucking dork :P

1. Do you pay much attention to your body? Do you know when you are doing too much of something, not getting enough of something, etc? How do you know/not know?
I pay fairly close attention to my body. When something goes wrong, I usually know what it is. Sometimes it's something I can fix on my own, sometimes it's something I need a doctor for. If I'm doing something too much like drinking, I just stop. I don't have an addictive personality, so when I realize I'm doing too much of something on a regular basis, I put an end to it.

2. Have you ever had a health issue that you couldn't solve yourself (other than a sinus infection or something like that)? If so, what steps did you take to resolve it? Did you resolve it?
Yeah, my current issues. One was something I didn't know about. The other is something I can prevent. It'll take about a month to feel mostly better, but I think if I play my cards right, things should be fine.

3. Have you ever had to hop from doctor to doctor to doctor to get a diagnosis? If so, how did you handle it? What are your thoughts about having to hop from doctor to doctor to get a diagnosis?
This bout of 'something's wrong' has been extremely aggrevating. I saw my doctor once and had 4 or 5 phone conversations with him, saw an allergist, saw the booty doctor, and saw a dermatologist. The last 2 diagnosed me and told me how to fix it. But it took 3 months of 'putting up with it' and a month and a half of doctors to get to that point. I hope that doesn't happen often. And, it doesn't renew my faith in western medicine.

Good gravy. So, without going into too much detail and grossing everyone out, it seems as if I have a 'tear' in an uncomfortable place. Because I drink so much water everyday (usually around 96oz), certain waste products aren't 'firm' enough and it isn't letting the tear heal. No, I have no idea where the tear came from. And yes, the doctor dooder said that hormones make it even worse. So, I need to wean myself down to 64oz of water a day, and he wants me to use 12g of this stuff called Konsyl. It's got like twice the fiber as Metamucil, I guess.

So, try and get myself down to 64oz of water a day, 12g of that Konsyl stuff, and the doctor says I should be 80% better within a month and 100% in 2-4 months. So, I have some incentive to keep it up :P

Fiber, here I come, baby! :P

So by a stroke of pure luck, I got a next day appointment to see a specialist that I saw last year. From what the nurse I talked to said, this is the guy I need to see to diagnose and fix my problems. This morning, I get a fone call saying they can't see me because I owe them $60 that they never told me about. Eh?

I can see them if I call the collection agency and pay the bill, but the doctor's office cannot tell me who the agency is or their phone # because the office manager is out of the country. I *have* to get in there today to see the dooder. I can't wait another 3 weeks to get an appointment. I call the alleged collection agency (or what I thought was the agency based on the half-assed information the doctor's office told me) and they don't have me on file. So, I called the dr's office back and she's trying to work it out so I can find a way to pay it.

Over a fucking $60 bill that I was never told about? Apparently I pissed off the office manager because she tried calling me one day while I couldn't talk and I told her to call back and she never did, but why is this my problem? And why the hell can't I just pay the damn bill when I get to the doctor's office?

I've already been in major discomfort for 3 months, having to wait 3 more weeks to get in is because they don't know what the fuck is going on is *not* my problem, and *not* something I want to deal with, dammit.

I suppose if I wasn't in so much discomfort it wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm at the end of my rope. If *you* couldn't sit for 3 months and it got unbearable for 2 weeks out of every month, you'd be out-of-your-head mad too. Hopefully they can get their shit in order enough so I can pay the bill and make my appointment at 4:30.

I'm going to hurt somebody.

Update: The lady at the dr's office called and said I could pay the $60 in cash when I got there this afternoon. Yay! I went down to the ATM at the bank downstairs from my work and it wouldn't let me take cash from my credit card. However, when I went into the bank, they were able to do it inside by doing a 'cash advance'. Yay for the bank! Even tho it was a fucking irritating morning, the people I ended up having to deal with were all very helpful in the end. I think I'm going to go to the flower shop across the street and get a lilly or something for the lady at the dr's office for busting her ass to get me paid up and seen today. It's the *least* I can do!

Okay, now, the rest of the day just needs to go smoothly!

So, we don't get very many straight-up cloudy days here in CA. It just doesn't happen that often. So when it does, I'm usually pretty jazzed about it. What can I say, I like weather!

There's a nice mix of high gray clouds and low white clouds. There's a 10% chance of rain, so it probly will stay dry. I love the greens of the trees against the gray of the clouds...the wind...the cool weather in general...too bad the hills are brown. It'd just be beautiful if they were still green! The sun peaks out every now and then, but it's still plenty cloudy for my tastes.

The jasmine plants are blooming, and even tho they are one of my favorite blooming weeds, they cause my allergies to go haywire. I dropped the car off this morning at the shop for an oil change and when I went to walk to pick it up, my head felt like it was 5 sizes too big :P. Oh well...I still love the smell!

Last night when I got home, I cleaned up the house and cut up fruit that I bought earlier in the day at TJs. Yummy canteloupe, strawberries, and blueberries. Later in the evening Ivan, Josh, and I all went to Barney's for burgers. It's rare when I eat them, so I went all out! I got a turkey burger with mushrooms, cheddar cheese, and artichoke hearts. I could only eat half of it, but it was totally yummy! Obviously (with the exception of keeping mostly yeast-free), I have stopped any elimination diet I may have been on. My problems aren't diet related it seems, and I'm tired of being hungry all of the time :P

I don't have any plans for this evening. Not sure what I'm going to do. w0w? tv? We'll see! It may end up being some sort of tv watching because I'm into crochet right now (working on one baby blanket and need to do another), and I can multi-task while I do it.

I'm still having issues with my health, and it's been draining all of my energy. That's my lame excuse for me being so quiet lately. It's been taking all I have to get thru the work day and by the time I get home, I'm pooped. I had one very unhelpful specialist appointment last week, and am going to another this week. However, I think I'll have to go to at least a third before this thing is over with. But, at least I've taken steps to figure out wtf is wrong with me, right? I'm trying to be positive, but it changes from day to day depending on the uncomfortableness. *trudge trudge*

Friday, I didn't do anything. A lot of watching mindless TV and sitting around. Josh's friend Lucas was in towne, so he went and hung out with him that evening. I went to bed around midnight and woke up about 11:30a on Saturday morning. My live-in manager was supposed to come install my bathroom fan at noon that I've been waiting a month for. At 12:30, Josh called her to find out wtf she was. She 'forgot'. The woman is nice, but she's a real twit. Anyway, with a little help from Josh, we got the fan installed. He left to hang out with Lucas and his friends, and I took BART up to North Concord and joined them a few hours later. I wanted to eat and take a shower and crap around first. The afternoon was spent smoking, drinking (well, I wasn't drinking), and playing Wii (bowling, baby!), poker, board games, etc. I got a ride back to BART from Ben & Lorraine and got home around 10:30p. I stayed up til about 1a playing Guitar Hero, then I went to bed. Josh didn't get home til about 4a! Lucas was only in towne for a few days for his boofday, so Josh wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

I got up around 10:30a after paying much attention to z0rg ("Hi, I'm here! Love me! I said LOVE ME!") and spent about an hour or so trying to figure out how to update my add-ons in w0w and make them work (I kept getting loading errors). I don't usually have much patience with that kind of thing, but yesterday I decided I was going to fix my problems myself. After reading thru some forums and just sitting staring at the screen, I figured out some libraries needed updating, fixed that stuff, and finally got it all to work! I was proud of myself :) All those years of hacking my ircii scripts in C paid off! :P.

After that, Josh suggested that we take a trip to Jackson's for scotch. I haven't been drinking much lately, so I just kinda watched while Josh hemmed and hawed about what he wanted to get. He finally settled on a bottle (which later he said he was glad that he bought), we made a quick stop at Safeway, and then it was on to the laundry mat to do laundry. We ran into Mike R. there and I chatted him up for a bit while my laundry was drying. We were home by about 4:30p. An hour and some change for 2 people to do their laundry (wash/dry/fold)? Missy-ficient! That's Josh's new word, btw. It fits!

Since Josh spent most of the weekend with his friends, yesterday was deemed 'my day', which I appreciated! A gin & tonic sounded good, so Josh made me one, and then he cooked gnocchi for dinner. We watched The Bird Cage (Josh had never seen it, and I had only seen it once) also. That movie is frickin hilarious. Afterwards, we spent some time talking, hanging out, etc and we went to bed around 11p.

Overall, it was a pretty good weekend. Productive, but fairly mellow. I woke up about 5am with a headache. I took some advil and went back to sleep. I think my gin & tonics (I only had 2!) were a little harsh on me because I haven't been drinking lately. Oh well...I suppose that's a good thing, right? Since my health has been bugging me, I've been cutting out the bad stuff. No more partying for a good amount of time, been cutting out most of the junk food, no caffeine, blahblahblah. Altho I have to admit, I'm drinking my first cup of coffee (half-caff) in about a month and a half. I was just so damn tired this morning I said 'fuck it....gimme coffee!'.

Anyway, that's about it for me! It's looking to be a fairly mellow week all the way around. Bosslady is gone until Thursday, and I have no set-in-stone plans this week. I think our friend Ivan is coming over tonight to hang out, which should be fun. He's been a lot of fun to hang out with the couple of times I've seen him in the past few months, and I've decided to make more of an effort to get to know him better. Josh has known him for like 15 years, but I've only known him for 3 or 4, and not very well. Yes yes, she's making an effort to be social! Headline news! :P

1. When is the last time you planned for a party/social gathering at your house?
We have people over semi-regularly these days. From Super Bowl parties to hockey games to the 'come and have dinner with us' evenings.

2. What type of event was it?
See above.

3. Do you enjoy hosting parties at your house, or do you find the preparation stressful?
I don't mind having people over. It forces me to be social, which I don't excel at on my own.

4. Do you tend to have a lot more food than needed for these events, or are you pretty good about estimating how much to serve?
Josh usually cooks when people come over, and he's pretty good about making the right amount of food. And if we have extras, then it means free lunch for me!

5. Some people have gatherings at their homes on a regular basis because it forces them to really CLEAN. How do you feel about this?
I am an anal-retentive neatnick. This means my house is *always* clean. If someone I deem important is coming over, I may go a little more OCD than usual, but usually I don't worry about it too much because the house is usually clean.